Top Twenty Cringeworthy Christmas Cracker Jokes

woman pulling a cracker with a terrible joke inside

Don’t you just LOVE a terrible Christmas cracker joke? Christmas jokes are an essentially part of getting us into the Christmas spirit. They allow us all to share in a collective groan at the predictable – yet undoubtedly funny – clichés.

These decorated dinner creations, filled with exciting gifts and a colourful Christmas hat, make a fantastic addition to Christmas dinners and parties. Better still, they each come with their own cringeworthy Christmas joke.

So don your Christmas hat and prepare for some side-splitting laughs because we’ve got our favourite Top 20 Christmas Cracker Jokes to get you in the festive spirit!

  1. What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas Eve!
  2. What do the royal family play at Christmas instead of musical chairs? Game Of Thrones
  3. Why did no one bid for Rudolph or Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer
  4. What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar? He got 24 days
  5. What do you find in Santa’s drink cupboard? Festive spirit
  6. What’s the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum set – you just can’t beat it!
  7. Who hides in a bakery at Christmas? A mince spy
  8. What do you call someone that’s scared of Santa? Claus-trophobic
  9. How do you know Santa’s real? He’s from the grotto
  10. What do elves learn at school? The Elf-abet
  11. What did the snowflake say to the fallen leaf? You are so last season
  12. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite
  13. What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot? Get out of my face!
  14. Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party? Because he’s a fun-gi to be with
  15. Why is The Great British Bake Off like the nativity?  Because the Star is in the Yeast.
  16. Why did the orange take a prune to the Christmas party? Because he couldn’t find a date!
  17. What happened when Santa went speed dating? He pulled a cracker
  18. Why was the Brussels sprout sent to prison? Because it was a repeat offender
  19. What did Santa say to the smoker? Please don’t smoke; it’s bad for my elf!
  20. Why does Santa put chimneys on Tinder? Because he wants them to be swept right

If you have any other cringeworthy Christmas cracker jokes share them on our Facebook page.